She was a level-headed dancer on the road to alcohol
And I was just a soldier on my way to Montreal
Well she pressed her chest against me
About the time the juke box broke
Yeah, she gave me a peck on the back of the neck
And these are the words she spoke
Chorus:
Blow up your TV throw away your paper
Go to the country, build you a home
Plant a little garden, eat a lot of peaches
Try an find Jesus on your own  
Well, I sat there at the table and I acted real naive
For I knew that topless lady had something up her sleeve
Well, she danced around the bar room and she did the hoochy-coo
Yeah she sang her song all night long, tellin' me what to do
(Repeat Chorus)
Well, I was young and hungry and about to leave that place
When just as I was leavin', well she looked me in the face
I said "You must know the answer."
"She said, "No but I'll give it a try."
And to this very day we've been livin' our way
And here is the reason why
We blew up our TV threw away our paper
Went to the country, built us a home
Had a lot of children, fed 'em on peaches
They all found Jesus on their own

She is my everything
From her suntanned shoulders
Down to the freckles
On her wedding ring
Here feet are so warm
They could melt the snow
In the early Spring
She is my everything
She goes everywhere from Copenhagen
To making eggs and bacon down in Jackson Square
I'd like to drive a Cadillac
The color of her long black hair
She goes everywhere
Kisses that come all the way from China
Kinda remind her of memories of Spain
If I get lost you can always find her
Standing right beside me in the rain
Instrumental:
She uses Eveready batteries to keep
Her electrical appliances going steady
She can do fourteen things at one
And then the phone'll ring
She is my everything
She know everybody
From Muhammad Ali
To teaching Bruce Lee
How to do karate
She can lead a parade
While putting on her shades
In her Masarati
She know everybody
Kisses that come all the way from China
Kinda remind her of memories of Spain
If I get lost you can always find her
Standing right beside me in the rain
She is my everything
When she wakes up in the morning
That's when the birdies
Start to sing
When I hear her voice
I'll tell you boys
I forget everything
She is my everything
She is my everything

She don't like her eggs all runny
She thinks crossin' her legs is funny
She looks down her nose at money
She gets it on like the Easter Bunny
She's my baby I'm her honey
I'm never gonna let her go
He ain't got laid in a month of Sundays
I caught him once and he was sniffin' my undies
He ain't too sharp but he gets things done
Drinks his beer like it's oxygen
He's my baby
And I'm his honey
Never gonna let him go
In spite of ourselves
We'll end up a'sittin' on a rainbow
Against all odds
Honey, we're the big door prize
We're gonna spite our noses
Right off of our faces
There won't be nothin' but big old hearts
Dancin' in our eyes.
She thinks all my jokes are corny
Convict movies make her horny
She likes ketchup on her scrambled eggs
Swears like a sailor when shaves her legs
She takes a lickin'
And keeps on tickin'
I'm never gonna let her go.
He's got more balls than a big brass monkey
He's a whacked out weirdo and a lovebug junkie
Sly as a fox and crazy as a loon
Payday comes and he's howlin' at the moon
He's my baby I don't mean maybe
Never gonna let him go
In spite of ourselves
We'll end up a sittin' on a rainbow
Against all odds
Honey, we're the big door prize
We're gonna spite our noses
Right off of our faces
There won't be nothin' but big old hearts
Dancin' in our eyes.
There won't be nothin' but big old hearts
Dancin' in our eyes.
(Spoken) In spite of ourselves

You and me
Sittin' in the back my memory
Like a honey bee
Buzzin' 'round a glass of sweet Chablis
Radio's on
Windows rolled up
And my mind's rolled down
Headlights shining
Like silver moons
Rollin' on the ground
We made love
In everyway love can be made
And we made time
Look like time
Could never fade
Friday Night
We both made the guitar hum
Saturday made Sunday feel
Like it would never come
Gonna be a long Monday
Sittin' all alone on a mountain
By a river that has no end
Gonna be a long Monday
Stuck like the tick of a clock
That's come unwound - again
Soul to soul
Heart to heart
And cheek to cheek
Come on baby
Give me a kiss
That'll last all week
The thought of you leavin' again
Brings me down
The promise of
Your sweet love
Brings me around
It's gonna be a long Monday
Sittin' all alone on a mountain
By a river that has no end
It's gonna be a long Monday
Stuck like the tick of a clock
That's come unwound - again
And again

Black faces pressed against the glass
Where rain has pressed it's weight
Wind blown scarves in top down cars
All share one western trait
Sadness leaks through tear-stained cheeks
From winos to dime-store Jews
Probably don't know they give me
These late John Garfield blues
 
Midnight fell on Franklin Street
And the lamppost bulbs were broke
For the life of me, I could not see
But I heard a brand new joke
Two men were standing upon a bridge
One jumped and screamed you lose
And just left the odd man holding
Those late John Garfield blues
 
An old man sleeps with his conscience at night
Young kids sleep with their dreams
While the mentally ill sit perfectly still
And live through life's in-betweens
 
I'm going away to the last resort
In week or two real soon
Where the fish don't bite but once a night
By the cold light of the moon
The horses scream- the nightmares dream
And the dead men all wear shoes
'Cause everybody's dancin'
Those late John Garfield blues

Here's the story of a man and his family
And a big trip that they took
Well, I heard all about in a restaurant
And I read it in a history book
They rented a car at the Erie Canal
But the car didn't have no brake
Said Ma to Pa "My God this car"
"Is gonna fall into the Bottomless Lake"
 
Well, Mama turned to Daddy with a pale face
Said "I've done something horribly wrong"
"Well, the waters still runnin' in the bathtub"
And I think I left the kitchen light on"
Then I heard a crash the car when splash
And the compass rolled around and around
Oh, for Heaven's Sake! We fell in a lake
And I think we're all gonna drown
Chorus:
We are falling down
Down to the bottom of a hole in the ground
Smoke 'em if you got 'em
I'm so scared I can hardly breathe
I may never see my sweetheart again
Play once after first verse
There was plenty of food in the backseat
And the windows were rolled up tight
So we all nibbled on a chicken leg
Told stories 'way thru' the night
Well, Pa told one that he told before
And the baby got a bellyache
Said Ma to Pa "My God this car"
"Falling down a Bottomless Lake"
(Repeat Chorus)
Poppa played the music on the radio
Mama rocked the baby to sleep
He said he would've taken the other road
But he didn't think the lake was that deep
Well, if the ferry been there at the end of the pier
We'd be half way to Uncle Jake's
Instead of looking at fish out the window I wish
We'd hit the bottom of the Bottomless Lake
'Stead of looking at fish out the window I wish
We'd hit the bottom of the Bottomless Lake
 
So if you're ever goin' on a big trip
Ya better be careful out there
Start everything on you good foot
And wear clean underwear
Take along a Bible in the backseat
Read of David and Solomon
For if you make a mistake in the Bottomless Lake
You may never see your sweetheart again
If you should make a mistake in the Bottomless Lake
You may never see your sweetheart again
If you should make a mistake in the Bottomless Lake
You may never see your sweetheart again

Way up on Bear Creek, Watching the sun go down.
Way up on Bear Creek, Watching the sun go down.
Well it makes me feel like I’m on my last go ‘round.

The water up on Bear Creek, Tastes like cherry wine.
The water up on Bear Creek, Tastes like cherry  wine.
One drink of that water, You stay drunk all the time.

If you stay up on Bear Creek, You’ll get like Jesse James.
If you stay up on Bear Creek, You’ll get like Jesse James.
You’ll take two pistols, And you’ll rob that Bear Creek train.

I’m going high, high, Up on some lonesome ridge.
I’m going high, high, Up on some lonesome ridge.
Look down on Bear Creek, Where my good gal used to live.

Way up on Bear Creek, Watching the sun go down.
Way up on Bear Creek, Watching the sun go down.
Well it makes me feel like I’m on my last go ‘round.

I wish, I hope, I wonder
Where you're at sometimes
Is your back against the wall?
Or just across the line
Have you been standing in the rain
Reciting nursery rhymes?
Trying to recall
Some long lost kind of peace of mind
Peace of mind
Try spending the night sometime
All alone in a frozen room
Afterneath you've lain
Your Saddle in the rain
I dreamed they locked God up
Down in my basement
And he waited there for me
To have this accident
So he could drink my wine
And eat me like a sacrament
And I just stood there like I do
Then I came and went
I came and went
Like a bird in a foreign sky
Couldn't even say good bye
Or come and share the pain
My Saddle's in the rain
I saw a friend who doesn't know
If I'm his friend just yet
His eyes and mouth were widely open
And his jaw was set
Like he'd fell off a cliff
And hadn't hit the bottom yet
I wish he wouldn't pull those things on me
Without a net
Without a net
I had him up to the house one time
And we was having a real good time
Then he went and lain
His Saddle in the rain
In a laundromat not too far
From the Alamo
Sits a girl who stole my records
Very long ago
And she wishes, wants and washes
Out those dirty clothes
As she shuts her eyes and dreams
About her one eyed Joe
One eyed Joe
Car parked on a dirty road
Heaven knows the load she pulled
Couldn't take the strain
A Saddle in the rain

I am an old woman named after my mother
My old man is another child that's grown old
If dreams were lightning thunder was desire
This old house would have burnt down a long time ago
Chorus:
Make me an angel that flies from Montgom'ry
Make me a poster of an old rodeo
Just give me one thing that I can hold on to
To believe in this living is just a hard way to go
When I was a young girl well, I had me a cowboy
He weren't much to look at, just free rambling man
But that was a long time and no matter how I try
The years just flow by like a broken down dam.
(Repeat Chorus)
There's flies in the kitchen I can hear 'em there buzzing
And I ain't done nothing since I woke up today.
How the hell can a person go to work in the morning
And come home in the evening and have nothing to say.
(Repeat Chorus)

While digesting Reader's Digest
In the back of a dirty book store,
A plastic flag, with gum on the back,
Fell out on the floor.
Well, I picked it up and I ran outside
Slapped it on my window shield,
And if I could see old Betsy Ross
I'd tell her how good I feel.
Chorus:
But your flag decal won't get you
Into Heaven any more.
They're already overcrowded
From your dirty little war.
Now Jesus don't like killin'
No matter what the reason's for,
And your flag decal won't get you
Into Heaven any more. 
Well, I went to the bank this morning
And the cashier he said to me,
"If you join the Christmas club
We'll give you ten of them flags for free."
Well, I didn't mess around a bit
I took him up on what he said.
And I stuck them stickers all over my car
And one on my wife's forehead.
(Repeat Chorus)
Well, I got my window shield so filled
With flags I couldn't see.
So, I ran the car upside a curb
And right into a tree.
By the time they got a doctor down
I was already dead.
And I'll never understand why the man
Standing in the Pearly Gates said...
"But your flag decal won't get you
Into Heaven any more.
We're already overcrowded
From your dirty little war.
Now Jesus don't like killin'
No matter what the reason's for,
And your flag decal won't get you
Into Heaven any more."

It got so hot, last night, I swear
You couldn't hardly breathe
Heat lightning burnt the sky like alcohol
I sat on the porch without my shoes
And I watched the cars roll by
As the headlights raced
To the corner of the kitchen wall.
Chorus:
Mama dear
Your boy is here
Far across the sea
Waiting for
That sacred core
That burns inside of me
And I feel a storm
All wet and warm
Not ten miles away
Approaching
My Mexican home.
My God! I cried, it's so hot inside
You could die in the living room
Take the fan from the window
Prop the door back with a broom
The cuckoo clock has died of shock
And the windows feel no pane
The air's as still
As the throttle on a funeral train.
(Repeat Chorus)
My father died on the porch outside
On an August afternoon
I sipped bourbon and cried
With a friend by the light of the moon
So its hurry! hurry! Step right up
It's a matter of life or death
The sun is going down
And the moon is just holding its breath.
(Repeat Chorus)

In an Appalachian, Greyhound station 
She sits there waiting, in a family way
"Goodbye brother, Tell Mom I love her
Tell all the others, I'll write someday"
Chorus:
From an teenage lover, to an unwed mother
Kept undercover, like some bad dream 
While unwed fathers, they can't be bothered
They run like water, through a mountain stream
In a cold and gray town, a nurse say's "Lay down"
'This ain't no playground, and this ain't home'
Someone's children, out having children 
In a gray stone building, all alone
 
On somewhere else bound, Smokey Mountain Greyhound 
She bows her head down, hummin' lullabies
'Your daddy never, meant to hurt you ever' 
'He just don't live here, but you've got his eyes'
(Repeat Chorus)
Well, they run like water,

Oh the glory of true love
Is a wild and precious thing
It don’t grow on old magnolias
Or only blossom in the spring
No the glory of true love
Is it will last your whole life through
Never will go out of fashion
Always will look good on you
You can climb the highest mountain
Touch the moon and stars above
But Old Faithful’s just a fountain
Compared to the glory of true love
Long before I met you darlin’
Lord, I thought I had it all
I could have my lunch in London
And my dinner in St. Paul
I got some friends in Albuquerque
Where the governor calls me “Gov”
You can give ‘em all to Goodwill
For the glory of true love
You can climb the highest mountain
Touch the moon and stars above
But Old Faithful’s just a fountain
Compared to the glory of true love
Glory, glory, glory, glory
You can’t never get enough
Time alone will tell the story
Of the glory of true love
Glory, glory, glory, glory
You can’t never get enough
Time alone will tell the story
Of the glory of true love

When I was a child my family would travel
Down to Western Kentucky where my parents were born
And there's a backwards old town that's often remembered
So many times that my memories are worn.

Chorus:
And daddy won't you take me back to Muhlenberg County
Down by the Green River where Paradise lay
Well, I'm sorry my son, but you're too late in asking
Mister Peabody's coal train has hauled it away

Well, sometimes we'd travel right down the Green River
To the abandoned old prison down by Airdrie Hill
Where the air smelled like snakes and we'd shoot with our pistols
But empty pop bottles was all we would kill.

(Repeat Chorus)

Then the coal company came with the world's largest shovel
And they tortured the timber and stripped all the land
Well, they dug for their coal till the land was forsaken
Then they wrote it all down as the progress of man.

(Repeat Chorus)

When I die let my ashes float down the Green River
Let my soul roll on up to the Rochester dam
I'll be halfway to Heaven with Paradise waitin'
Just five miles away from wherever I am.

(Repeat Chorus)