I threw a party. Nobody came.
I bought all the tickets. They cancelled the game.
I give you my picture. It didn't fit your frame
Be my friend tonight
Be my friend tonight. Be my friend tonight.
I'll sleep on the couch. You can leave on that light.
Well, I won't do nothing wrong till you say it's right
Come on Honey, be my friend tonight
Now you bring the glasses and I'll bring the wine
I'll rub your shoulders just like they were mine
I won't make no passes till it's passing time
If you're only gonna be my buddy tonight
Be my friend tonight. Be my friend tonight.
I'll sleep on the couch. You can leave on that light.
Well, I won't do nothing wrong till you say it's right
Come on Darling, be my friend tonight
Well, I'll mind my manners. My P's and Q's
I won't give you nothing that you can't use
I'll whip out that old guitar and sing you the blues
Be my friend tonight
Be my friend tonight. Be my friend tonight.
I'll sleep on the couch. You can leave on that light.
Well, I won't do nothing wrong till you say it's right
Come on Honey, be my friend tonight
Be my friend tonight. Be my friend tonight.

I'll sleep on the couch. You can leave on that light.
Well, I won't do nothing wrong till you say it's right
Come on Darling, be my friend tonight
Oh, come on Honey, be my friend tonight
Please, be my friend tonight.

He's just a small fry. A bit too gun shy.
To have his heart touched without a glove
He looks at strangers as potential dangers
Trying to Steal his aimless love.
Love has no mind. It can't spell unkind.
It's never seen a heart shaped like a Valentine
For if love knew him. It'd walk up to him
And introduce him to an aimless love
I been out walking. Kinda pillow talking
To anyone that has the time for me
For there are some folks they think that love chokes.
It ties and keeps them from being free
Love has no mind. It can't spell unkind
It's never seen a heart shaped like a Valentine
For if love knew you. It'd walk up to you
And introduce you to an aimless love
Do you look at strangers as potential dangers
Trying to steal your aimless love.
Love has no mind. It can't spell unkind
It's never seen a heart shaped like a Valentine
For if love knew you. It'd walk up to you
And introduce you to an aimless love
And introduce you to an aimless love

Well, tonight I'll throw a party and I know who I'll invite
There's a strange and lonely person with whom I'll spend this night
There'll be no old sad memories to haunt me till I die
In that room there'll be a bottle
And me, myself and I
In that room there'll be a bottle
And me, myself and I
I've been introduced to many people I don't understand
I've been in the house of lonely. I've shook a thousand shaking hands
But tonight I'll be with someone who will look me in the eye
And in that room there'll be a bottle
And me, myself and I
In that room there'll be a bottle
And me, myself and I
At that party you'll see me when I was just a child 
In a room full of happy with a heart so meek and mild
And that child will meet a ghost that will haunt him oh so bad
From a family of confusion pretending love they never had.
So, tonight I'll throw that party and I know just what I'll do
Yes, I'll meet myself at midnight and cry the whole night through
Yeah, I'll meet that ghost of sadness and he'll look me in the eye
And in that room there'll be that bottle 
And me, myself and I
In that room there'll be a bottle
And me, myself and I

She's got the mind of a child
And a body peaking over the hill
Well, she would if she could
And she should but nobody will
With her nails painted red
And her hair so unnaturally curled
Well I think that she may be
The oldest baby in the world
She's tasted the night life
But it's left her with nothing but hunger
And all the available men
Seem to think that they want something younger
But youth is a costume
And the beauty within lies unfurled
And I think that she may be
The oldest baby in the world
Fast horses win races
And royal flushes beat aces
And everyone's playing to keep
So let's turn out the lights
And rock that old baby to sleep
She loves the sound of the rain
But you know she's still afraid of the thunder
She keeps a head full of hope
And a heart that's so full of wonder
She may look like a woman
But she's still some daddy's little girl
And I think that she may be
The oldest baby in the world
Yes, I think that she may be
The oldest baby in the world

Let's take a slow boat to China. Leave from South Carolina
Let's take our time and go the long way
On a junk boat to Thailand with your hand in mine hand
I sure hope we got something to say
Well, this old boat's go no sail so won't you please hold our mail-
For awhile
Thanks anyway pal but the Suez Canal -
Ain't our style
Let's take a slow boat to China and maybe we'll find a
New way to play those same old games
The stars just might show us and the captain will know us
Shake our hands and call us by our first names
We'll send a postcard to Grandpa of a vase or rickshaw-
He don't care
We'll buy Mom a kimono or maybe we'll just phone her -
When we're there
We'll drink sake at night beneath the soft harbor lights-
On the bay
We'll build house on the hill next to Shangri-Li Bill -
And we'll stay
Let's take that slow boat to China (Let's go)
Slow boat to China (Real Slow)
Slow boat to China (Let's go)
Slow boat to China (Real Slow)
Let's go Real Slow

Here's the story of a man and his family
And a big trip that they took
Well, I heard all about in a restaurant
And I read it in a history book
They rented a car at the Erie Canal
But the car didn't have no brake
Said Ma to Pa "My God this car"
"Is gonna fall into the Bottomless Lake"
 
Well, Mama turned to Daddy with a pale face
Said "I've done something horribly wrong"
"Well, the waters still runnin' in the bathtub"
And I think I left the kitchen light on"
Then I heard a crash the car when splash
And the compass rolled around and around
Oh, for Heaven's Sake! We fell in a lake
And I think we're all gonna drown
Chorus:
We are falling down
Down to the bottom of a hole in the ground
Smoke 'em if you got 'em
I'm so scared I can hardly breathe
I may never see my sweetheart again
Play once after first verse
There was plenty of food in the backseat
And the windows were rolled up tight
So we all nibbled on a chicken leg
Told stories 'way thru' the night
Well, Pa told one that he told before
And the baby got a bellyache
Said Ma to Pa "My God this car"
"Falling down a Bottomless Lake"
(Repeat Chorus)
Poppa played the music on the radio
Mama rocked the baby to sleep
He said he would've taken the other road
But he didn't think the lake was that deep
Well, if the ferry been there at the end of the pier
We'd be half way to Uncle Jake's
Instead of looking at fish out the window I wish
We'd hit the bottom of the Bottomless Lake
'Stead of looking at fish out the window I wish
We'd hit the bottom of the Bottomless Lake
 
So if you're ever goin' on a big trip
Ya better be careful out there
Start everything on you good foot
And wear clean underwear
Take along a Bible in the backseat
Read of David and Solomon
For if you make a mistake in the Bottomless Lake
You may never see your sweetheart again
If you should make a mistake in the Bottomless Lake
You may never see your sweetheart again
If you should make a mistake in the Bottomless Lake
You may never see your sweetheart again

Maureen, Maureen,
I shot a doctor last night on the airplane
Well, they said he wouldn't hurt us
But he got me real nervous and mean
He was fat and he stank
And God knows that he drank more than we do
So I shot him in the first class
Then I bailed out and ran home to you
Chorus:
But you don't believe me
I could tell by your smile
Honey, why don't you leave me
Get lost for awhile, Maureen.
Maureen, Maureen,
There's a hole in between where we come from
And the things that I'm thinking
Ain't necessary the things that I say
I may have lied to myself
But I tried to tell God how I love you
But even He don't answer
His phone anymore when I pray
Maureen, Maureen,
I shot a doctor last night on the airplane
Well, they said he wouldn't hurt us
But he got me real nervous and mean
Real nervous and mean

Well, I got time on my hands and I got you on my mind
And the moon and the stars up above
There's a warm summer breeze
Blowing down through the trees
And somewhere someone's falling in love
Well, if this world where we live is the only one we have
Then there's only one thing I'm thinking of
Let's go for that ride - keep our eyes open wide
Cause somewhere someone's falling in love
Chorus:
You may be looking for someone
Someone may be looking for you
Someday you'll awaken and open your eyes
And love will be looking at you
So don't get down on yourself. 
No and don't lose your faith
Believe these words that I'm singing of
For as sure as the day that you were born
Somewhere someone's falling in love
(Repeat Chorus)
So don't get down on yourself. 
No, and don't lose your faith
Believe these words that I'm singing of
For as sure as the day that you were born
Somewhere someone's falling in love
Yeah, for as sure as the day that you were born
Somewhere someone's falling
Somewhere someone's falling
Somewhere someone's falling in love

People who are sad - sometimes they wear a frown
And people who are kings - sometimes they wear a crown
But all the people who don't fit
Get the only fun they get
From people puttin' people down
People puttin' people down
People without love - sometimes build a fence around
The garden up above - that makes the whole world go 'round
But all the people who don't fit
Get the only fun they get
From people puttin' people down
People puttin' people down
So cold, sometimes it gets so cold
You may love your wife - you may lose your family
You may lose you mind - just to keep your sanity
But the people who don't fit
Get the only fun they get
From people puttin' people down
People puttin' people down
People that are glad - sometimes they wear a smile
And people without dreams they walk the extra mile
But all the people who don't fit
Get the only fun they get
From people puttin' people down
People puttin' people dwn
From people puttin' people down
People puttin' people down
So cold, sometimes it gets so cold

In an Appalachian, Greyhound station 
She sits there waiting, in a family way
"Goodbye brother, Tell Mom I love her
Tell all the others, I'll write someday"
Chorus:
From an teenage lover, to an unwed mother
Kept undercover, like some bad dream 
While unwed fathers, they can't be bothered
They run like water, through a mountain stream
In a cold and gray town, a nurse say's "Lay down"
'This ain't no playground, and this ain't home'
Someone's children, out having children 
In a gray stone building, all alone
 
On somewhere else bound, Smokey Mountain Greyhound 
She bows her head down, hummin' lullabies
'Your daddy never, meant to hurt you ever' 
'He just don't live here, but you've got his eyes'
(Repeat Chorus)
Well, they run like water,
Through a mountain stream

You may live alone and close your eyes
Some folks do
You may dream a dream that's twice your size
All night through
When the morning comes who's to tell your dreams to
Only you
Chorus:
Only love, love only, only love
Will do
Only love, love only, only love
Comes true
Nothing else, you see, there nothing else
Only love, only love
I have known a love within my heart
One or two
Where one love would end and one would start
I never knew
If love should come your way you'll learn to say
I love you I love you
(Repeat Chorus Twice)